Manchester Ceremonies

Independent Registered Celebrant in the Greater Manchester area. Specialising in personalised weddings, civil partnerships, naming ceremonies and other family services

How do I write wedding vows?

This is a question that can haunt a couple, or maybe just one of them, for the months before a ceremony. What if I say the wrong thing? What if they don’t match my partners? What if I forget what to say?

Here are some of my top tips for writing your own vows

·         Leave plenty of time – don’t leave these to the last minute!!!! You will be happier with them and feel more confident saying them on the day.

·         You don’t have to write them alone – write them together or rope in a best man/woman to help. I can also give you pointers and help you put together something personal.

·         Use traditional vows – this is your day, you don’t have to write something yourself you can say the traditional vows of “I, ___, take you, ___, to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part”, or use this as a start and make some changes to personalise it.

·         Say the same vows – you can both agree to the same vow be it traditional or unique to you.

·         You don’t need to be serious – if you are a couple who are having a less formal ceremony you don’t need to change your style for your vows (unless that’s what you want). Some examples “I promise to comfort you when (your team) lose and drink with you when they win" and “I promise separate the colours from the whites before putting the washing on.“

·         Get ideas online – a search will produce loads of examples, take some suggestions and make them your own. Don’t get bogged down with other peoples, just use them for a little inspiration. Also you could take them word for word if they resonate with you – the likelihood of that couple attending your wedding is slim…

·         Complete your marriage questionnaire – I will give you a questionnaire to help me write your ceremony, this might give you some ideas of what’s important to you about your relationship, your partner and why you are getting married. Incorporate these important aspects into your vows. Some questions to answer are: What is important in your relationship? What does being married to them mean to you? What will change? What will NOT change? What do you hope your marriage will bring?

·         Write them for your partner – there are guests at your ceremony, but these are your message to each other. Don’t consider anyone other than the one you love. Make them smile, make them feel special, even make them cry, commit to how your future is going to be.

·         Take inspiration from things you enjoy – song lyrics, a passage in a book, an inspirational quote someone posted on Facebook. Take a word that invokes an emotion and start there.

·         You don’t need to memorise them – I can say the words for you to repeat, you can tuck them away in your pocket and read them, you could have someone miming the words to you from the side. Don’t put extra pressure on yourself if it will make you stressed.

·         Don’t worry – it doesn’t matter if you get tongue tied, if you forget the words, if you cry when you say them, even if you have to start all over again. These are the things that will make your ceremony special and unique to you, and your partner will love you more for it. Although saying your ex’s name will be difficult to come back from!

Good luck and have fun with them

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Posted 196 weeks ago